


To Paint the Sky

by unknowableroom_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Marauders' Era, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-04-05
Updated: 2008-04-05
Packaged: 2019-01-19 14:30:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12412110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unknowableroom_archivist/pseuds/unknowableroom_archivist
Summary: Why did he do this? That was the most puzzling question. Lily had always found Potter easy to read, but now, she was the simple one, laying all her cards out on the table so he could predict her future, and ultimately imagine himself in it. [lily x james, fiveshot]





	To Paint the Sky

**Author's Note:**

> Note from ChristyCorr, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Unknowable Room](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Unknowable_Room), a Harry Potter archive active from 2005-2016. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after May 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Unknowable Room collection profile](http://www.archiveofourown.org/collections/unknowableroom).

_14th February, 1979_

_The Astronomy Tower_

“Lily?” James asked curiously, his voice only just audible above the sound that his worn boots were making as they grated across the stone floor. Lily sat in the corner, her born contorted so that she hunched over her knees, as though they were a safety barrier, protecting her from the outside world.

“Go away Mary.”

“It’s not Mary, it’s James.” James couldn’t help but wonder why he was so forthcoming, Lily was an enigma

“Then let me correct myself.” Lily’s voice was stained with the sound of dripping

tears as she mumbled almost incoherently. “Piss off and never talk to me again.” It amazed James that she could still be so brutal and that her words still ached like a kick in the nether regions when she was so upset.

She leaned up against the wall, arching her back slightly and tossing her hair over her shoulders. It was so bloody unfair. Everything was unfair. She resisted the urge to storm across the room, and rip James Potter’s bloody hazel eyes from his bloody face, and then step on them and feed them to whatever vicious freak Hagrid was breeding this week. They were distracting, the way they bored into her.

“Trust me Evans; you don’t want me to do that.” James had made quite a few changes to his personality this year, but there were some things that wouldn’t change fully, and the fact that he just _had_ to flirt with Lily Evans was one of them.

“And you don’t want me to brutally mutilate your face, do you? No matter how much your mother would find it an improvement …”

Lily berated herself for responding, as she sank further into the floor, a few lone tears still dripping from her face. It wasn’t Mary’s fault Brett had asked her to the upcoming Spring Dance, but it was so unfair.

“ _No it’s not; you never told her how you felt.”_

“ _Only so she wouldn’t accuse you of denying your feelings for Ja-Potter.”_

“ _But she’s your best friend.”  
”Doesn’t mean she wouldn’t have an unappreciated opinion …”_

The battle raged on in Lily’s head, swords crossed each other, both digging deep into the recesses of her heart, before sliding back out again, allowing its beat to throb on, filling the uneasy silence that floats across the Astronomy Tower.

_Friends._ _Love. Friends. Love._

_  
Mary. Brett. Mary. Brett._

_Friends._ _Love. Friends. Love._

_What the bloody hell is James Potter doing here?_

“That’s mean,” James laughed, finally crossing the threshold and stampeding over the top of the invisible barrier that lay between them; it was threaded together by Lily’s vulnerability and her determination to push away emotional support.

“Doesn’t mean it’s not true.” Tears continued to drip down her face, soaking into front of her t-shirt. She shivered slightly; it was cold up here in just her pyjamas, a world away from her heated dormitory and her half-finished potions homework.

Lily felt the ground shake as James fell to the floor beside her, the dirt seeping into the seat of his pants and his disgustingly musky scent infiltrating her nostrils, causing her to gag.

“Please, just piss off.” Her voice was husky, and much of her infuriation was masked by sobs.

“Why? It’s Valentine’s Day, and everyone deserves someone to cuddle.”

“All you deserve to cuddle is your own bullshit.”

If Sirius was here, he would have retorted eagerly, making James laugh, but Lily seemed much too fragile to be smacked across the face by sarcasm and a few words with points like knives.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” Lily snorted, shifting her body to the left, out of range of James hand, which was dangling precariously close to hers. She was sure it was a nice hand, but the last thing she wanted was it caressing her, Valentine’s Day or not.

“Right, nothing’s wrong. Then care to explain why you’re sitting in the Astronomy Tower at midnight, crying.”

James knew exactly what was wrong – everybody but Lily Evans herself had realised _exactly_ how much this Valentine’s Day was killing her inside – but he didn’t dwell on it, for pasts were pasts and what happened in the present was what determined the future.

“My boyfriend just proposed, and they’re tears of happiness.” Her sarcasm made him laugh, but he quickly composed himself. Chuckling at Lily was never a wise move (unless you were Sirius, who seemed to enjoy irritating the ‘chick with the hair that’s only good for strangling her with’), especially not when she was irritated and in desperate need of tissues and chocolate.

“But the astronomy tower?”

Lily allowed a slight smile to grace her face as a few tears dissipated, but she kept it well out of James Potter’s eyesight; the last thing we wanted was for him to think was that he had some sort of control over her emotions, something more than PMS at any rate.

“I love the night time,” she said, allowing a small snippet of truth to fly from her mouth and hang in the air, smothering them both with similar feelings of confusion. Lily could not help but wonder why she’d shared this, shared _anything_ with Potter; he was just going to use it against her in yet another fruitless attempt to ask her out.

Even if he hadn’t done _that_ once since Christmas break …

“I don’t get it. Night is dark, and there’s no Quidditch, no sunshine to brighten your hair – which is looking especially stunning, despite the fact that it stinks of tears – no life.”

“Have you ever thought that I like it just because you don’t?” Lily snapped, clambering up off the floor and storming across the room.

“Yes, but that’s such a cliché Lily Evans answer that I skipped over it for something deeper,” James said, pushing himself to his feet as well and staring at her, hands on hips and hazel eyes wide.

Lily just stared back at him, not really registering the fact that was there, he was just a haze in her mind, a haze ready to be discovered and then conquered and defeated. She wasn’t quite sure if was the jovial tone of his voice as he’d replied to her, or the comment on her long red tresses, which glowed in the moonlight, but she was furious.

“I will brutally maim you and make sure you can never have kids.”

Normally, James would have made quite a loud comment on how she’d be denying herself children (once she got over the fact that she was denying herself _him,_ at any rate), but now, he tried a different tack.

“It’s midnight, Lily. My chance for this year’s Valentines trip to the Hospital Wing is over.”

“That doesn’t mean you can’t have a happy February fifteenth trip.”

“True, but it also means you miss out on the satisfaction of seeing me get Valentines from my horde of admirers and being unable to hex them because my arm is in a sling.”

Lily couldn’t help but laugh at that one, remembering last year’s Valentines Day and the flood of soppy cards James had received after having two of his fingers fall off in the middle of the Great Hall at breakfast. She had never had the stomach for horror movies, but obviously blood and _a lot_ of profanity was a turn on for some people.

“So why do you like night?” James’ question, which was filled with longing – but this was a different longing, he didn’t want her, he wanted _her,_ the real her, the one with thoughts and feelings and a sarcastic personality, not the her with wine-red curls and eyes that sparkled like diamonds – jolted her back to reality.

“It’s so peaceful, serene … and you’re destroying it.”

He wasn’t really; it was nice to have company, even if that company happened to be a 6”2 arrogant prick by the name of James Potter.

“So you like night because it’s peaceful. Couldn’t you just buy a sleep mask and curl up in bed, instead of freezing your arse off?”

“I don’t know,” Lily said honestly, shaking her head at the bluntness of his question. “I guess it’s just the stars I like, and the moon. The fact that they’re so far away, but so bright …”

James nodded, half of his face was shrouded in darkness, the other half as bright as one of the stars that Lily admired so much. And in that moment he understood …well, _everything,_ really.

He understood that she was a person, a person with an eternal heartbeat that pounded inside her, powering her, a person who had a soul that wanted to be loved and cherished.

She wasn’t just Lily Evans, _object of James Potter’s affections anymore_ , she was Lily Evans, _person_. It was such an epiphany, and yet it just washed over him like a breaking wave, leaving him to suspect only one thing: he’d always known. And yet, it had only become apparent _now._ James could have slapped himself.

“They seem to be everlastingly blissful, while we’re trapped amongst the mundane, day to day happenings, just waiting to die.”

“Lily Evans, marry me and I’ll make everyday blissful, it won’t be shit anymore.” James winked at her, figuring that after all they’d been through tonight – he was still reeling from shock over the fact that they’d had an _actual conversation_ which didn’t involve hexes and potions for relieving headaches after concussion – he could flirt with her at least _once,_ but she didn’t notice, sliding to the floor on the other side of the room and smacking her face against her upturned palms. The wind whistled through the room, grabbing Lily and James in its icy clutches, dragging them to its lair.

“Now there’s a proposal and a half. Marry me because I used bloody obscene language to comfort the poor little redheaded girl cowering in the Astronomy Tower. Your answer: _no._ ”

Lily glared at James, lifting her head from her hands and wrapping her arms around herself to keep warm. At first she wondered why James wasn’t cold, but then she remembered the atrocious weather at some of those Quidditch games she’d sat through, watching Mary, and she realised.

_Why did he do this_? That was the most puzzling question. Lily had always found Potter easy to read, but now, she was the simple one, laying all her cards out on the table so he could predict her future, and ultimately imagine himself in it. For someone who’d always prided herself on keeping her emotions in check, that was like admitting insanity.

And this was insanity, because in no other world would Lily ever talk to James Potter like this.

“Fine, I’m not the sort to get hitched early anyway. What do you say about a date?” James winked at her, those searing hazel eyes radiating amicable flirting, something he’d tried a thousand times before and never succeeded with. James knew he was risking everything, winking at Lily, and Remus’ voice echoed in his head: _deflate or die, James, to put it bluntly._

Maybe this was one instance where instinct could defeat rational logic.

“Piss off.”

Or not.

“Come on Lily,” he said, grinning at her, “it’s now past midnight, and you’re sitting up here watching the stars because you’re depressed for some weird reason, when really, all you need is a little humour injected into your arse because your head is so far up there.” James quickly realised that a blatant insult probably wasn’t the best method of wooing a girl either, but he couldn’t help it, and it seemed to shake her from her stupor.

“Go ask Mary why I never laugh anymore,” she said, waving her hand in the direction of the door and glaring at him.

“Oh, oh,” James said as he was smacked fully in the chest by a wave of understanding. This was about _Brett._ That good for nothing, cheating, lying scumbag that Remus said Lily was _infatuated_ by. James had waved off the threat, because after all, Lily wasn’t the sort to date someone who got a ‘T’ in Potions, but obviously, he’d underestimated the enemy. “This is about Brett and Mary and the fact that they snogged in the Great Hall, isn’t it?”

He was sick and tired of playing games with her, they’d danced around each other for the last seven years, both making strategic moves to defeat the other and wear them down. Now, all James wanted was honesty.

“They _SNOGGED!”_ Lily screeched, her arms flailing and her hair entangling itself around her neck as she stormed across the Astronomy Tower; her hands went directly to James throat, squeezing him until he turned a deep shade of purple.

“I-ry.”

“Sorry James, I didn’t – they _snogged?”_ Lily’s voice was softer, but still poisonous; James could almost taste the venom on her breath as it wafted over him; her mouth was but inches from his face.

“Er, didn’t you know that?” James was finding it very had to concentrate with Lily’s face in such close proximity to his.

“NO, I BLOODY WELL DID _NOT_ KNOW THAT!”

“Oh,” was the only coherent thought James could muster as she blew his eardrums apart. Didn’t _everyone_ know that? Mary was a brilliant friend (or _was;_ he doubted that stealing the man Lily Evans wanted made you awesome by anyone’s account). “Well, yeah, they did …”

“Kiss me,” Lily demanded, sweat dripping down her face, anger and hatred etched into every crease of her face.

James stumbled over his words; they lodged himself in his throat, choking him. He’d always wanted this, always wanted to feel his lips upon hers, to taste that citrus scent she exuded and to know exactly what she could do with that tongue of hers, but not … not like this.

James Potter may have lacked a lot of qualities – temper control, good behaviour and the ability to stop flirting with the girl who currently wanted him to kiss her among them – but he was most certainly a gentlemen.

And gentlemen did not kiss girls who were drunk with loathing and envy.

“Kiss me,” she demanded again, her voice saturated with desire. “Kiss me so I’m not the only one who hasn’t been kissed.

“No.” James’ voice wavered, but he had to be strong. Lily seemed so vulnerable, so fragile, and he didn’t want to break her, no matter what the personal gain. “You’re being irrational, Lily. You don’t like me, remember?”

“Just kiss me. It’s what you’ve always wanted, isn’t it, Potter?”

“Yeah,” James admitted, his eyes cast towards the ground in an attempt to avoid her domineering, hungry eyes. “But not like this. This is the Slytherin version of the fairytale I’ve always wanted.”

Lily gaped at him, her eyes tainted with shame.

“Just … just forget it James, okay. We’re never going to be a fairytale. Just because I told you my thoughts on stars and told you to kiss me, it doesn’t mean anything,” she snapped, her head a whirlwind of emotions.

Why the hell did she want to kiss Potter, of all people?

“No, Lily, it means everything, more than you’ll know,” James said, marching quickly across the floor and planting a tender kiss upon her lips, drinking in her scent, before scurrying away.

Lily touched her lips gently as he left.

 


End file.
